Oh Write

It's been a rather long journey, but I think I have been on it long enough to finally call myself a writer. Writing holds a very special place in my heart, even though we seldom get along very well. Sometimes, I hate it more than anything, because when I write something, I have to do it my way, which is usually filled with unnecessary words like 'rather' and 'seldom' and I put down too many commas and 'ands' and make extremely long sentences that ramble while I try to get my point across. And sometimes, I can't even begin to describe how much I love writing. I become passionate and I get excited even thinking about it.

At times, I become frustrated because when I read someone elses book, I begin to see how inferior and inexperienced I am at writing. But that will never stop me. I always want to get better even if I get angry with my writer mother when she corrects my grammar and word placing. I get upset because she always has some correction; it is never good enough. And even though it ticks me off Eighty-seven percent of the time, I am grateful for it. It's probably a bad sign if it is ever good enough for her, because she knows that I can always do better. This is exhausting, always trying to please the person you look up to and have your work picked at and dissected down to the very last period. Yet, it pushes me. Makes me better. Work harder.

None the less, I still enjoy every moment of writing. At first, I'm at a loss for what to write, and then I just know. It's like my subconscious is figuring out what to write before I even begin. Once in the flow it, it's like I'm no longer on Earth. I'm drifting through air and space, lost in another world at my own fingertips. The excitement is overwhelming at times and I hate anything that breaks me of my concentration. Nothing else matters. I'm completely gone, enveloped in the task at hand, literally. 

The emotions of my beloved characters, born of song or whim or dream, are the only things I feel. The plot twists and cliff hangers effect me more than anyone reading. These made up people may not really exist to you, but they are very real to me, especially the main character because he or she is made up of parts of me. They help me explore myself, to even more find out who I am.

This isn't a hobby. It's what I was meant to do. What I have to do.

I write, I breathe. I breathe to write.